con·tent·ment [kənˈtentmənt]
The Making of -Dwelling-
“Put your lips to the world and live your life.”
― Mary Oliver
The house we’re renting sits up on a hill. It has a wall of windows and makes me feel like I'm in a tree house. It’s so different compared to the house we sold in the fall; it was full of timber beams and wide-planked floors and felt like being on a ship. Certain vantage points in our old house gave me a feeling like I could walk right onto the river’s surface. Now we’re nestled up in the trees looking down on the river. This perch offers a whole new perspective of and on the river and a new relationship with the wind. Where I used to sit with the trunk of the trees now I feel like I’ve climbed the trucks and am sitting in a nook where two branches meet.
This new perch leaves me curious about all of the changes and shifts in perspective I've experienced since moving to this tree house. Before we moved in the fall, I had a stand-off (yes, think old Western movie) with the word, the concept of being content, the notion of contentment. In my vocabulary it was a dirty word. The idea of being content felt like poison to my system, like it represented me giving up in some way. I remember sharing this with a friend and how fascinated she was by my relationship with the concept because her relationship with contentment way so different, truly opposite to mine.
Only last week did I finally outgrow the last strands of attachment to my outdated reaction to the idea of being content. I had been working toward seeing strength and positivity in being content for the last six months. I knew my modus operandi wasn’t working anymore. The M.O. of: push forward / work harder to the point of exhaustion and sickness / the present isn’t good enough - needed to end. I turned to my guides last month and asked, "Why, why do I always push myself to exhaustion?" They told me the way I have been living and working is not sustainable. Their message hit me hard and clear. Perhaps their message was the blade that cut the final strands of my old relationship with feeling and being content.
What have you been sitting in curiosity with? What perch have you been sitting and looking out from? I'd love to hear from you! Drop me an email.
Much love to you and your spirit,
Sara
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